This Morning

Another little story from my alarm clock that's infatuated with me> I set my alarm to play the radio as my alarm to wake me up because the beeping is... despicable. This morning I woke up to: "Ya! That's what I do with my banana too!" And then quickly shut it off. A different time I woke up to: "YOU'VE WON THE LOTTERY!" And quickly shut it off. The next thing I'm expecting is: "Your mother  is dead because of a disease we found out that you can cure using a wheel of cheese, a turtle, and a walnut!" For the record my mom is not dead

All Look the Same

Marshmallows

You never know how many marshmallows can fit in your mouth until you try! I suggest wedging them in your cheeks first. They start to gum up and get super sticky creating a mass of sticky blob like that thing you blew out of your nose last week. Yoo thtart doo dawk whellee phunnee anduh nooo-wun ken oondurstanduh yoo! Thow thtickee anduh phwuthtwaiting! (If you don't understand this; sound it out until you do)

Friends B4 & After

< This is the version I found









This is my version \/

I prefer my own :D

The Alarm Clock of Untimely Wakeup Calls

This is you with a 'warm' feeling while
 watching the clock burn and the beeping die

Don't you just hate it when you wake up 2-3 minutes before your alarm clock? You wake up in that cloudy state that everyone wakes up in, look at the clock hoping to get a couple more hours in only to find you have a couple of minutes left. You groan in frustration of perfect timing and turn in your bed just to get the most out of your laziness. You might as well get up, but you lay there, testing fate and your patience. The alarm clock goes off and you scream at it not acknowledging that you have to click the button to turn it off. Your reaction is to throw it across the room, unplug it, or even set fire to the bloody thing, but no; what you do is lie there and do nothing.